Mentor Down: A Cautionary Tale

Description

Master Corwin Vancelli has trained thirty-seven Chosen Ones.
He’s guided fresh-faced teens through magical puberty, unsanctioned prophecies, and more “ancient evils” than he can count. He’s mastered the art of the weary monologue, perfected the training montage, and built a healthy emotional wall between himself and anyone destined to die in Act Three.
Then his latest Chosen One gets eaten by the prophecy scroll.
Now the story won’t stop. The prophecy reassigns the world-saving quest to Corwin, locks the map, and starts spawning musical side characters to “emotionally support his journey.” Even the goat starts talking. (His name is Elric. He has opinions. None of them are helpful.)
Corwin doesn’t want to be the hero.
He wants tea, a pension, and five minutes without a harp flourish when he sighs. But the prophecy won’t let go—and the world still needs saving. Probably.
Somewhere under all the narrative nonsense, an actual catastrophe is brewing—and Corwin might be the only one left to stop it.
To win, Corwin will have to fight genre formatting, dodge emotional breakthroughs, and refuse every weapon upgrade fate tries to hand him. Because he’s not here to fulfill the story.
He’s here to end it.